Are You in the Sandwich Generation?

  If you were born between 1945 and 1975 you are  probably, among the 20 million plus Americans, who are in some way involved with elder care.  The “Sandwich Generation” describes those who are sandwiched between the responsibilities of caring for their own children, while also caring for one or more aging parents, or other elderly family members.

For many in the boomer generation, the mentality was retire early, send the kids off to college, and, finally, have the chance to travel and enjoy life.  Instead, the demographic reality, is that many baby boomers are becoming Seniors and Sandwich Generationers at the same time.  Americans are living longer, and people are starting their families later. One out of every eight Americans, ages 40 to 60, is raising a child and caring for a parent at home.  On top of that, seven to 10 million Americans are caring for their aging parents from a long distance away. It's not easy to become elderly or a parent to your parent(s). After all, our society "says" adults should be able to take care of themselves. But, as more live well into their 80s and 90s and families are dispersed across the country, everyone is going to be involved somehow, some way, in elder care. 

The statistics say it all:

44% of Americans between the ages of 45 and 55 have 2 living parents and at least one child under 21.

2/3 or primary caregivers are women with 64% of caregivers employed full-time or part-time.

The average caregiver is age 46, female, married and working outside the home earning an annual income of $35,000 per year.

17% of family caregivers are providing 40 hours of care a week or more.

Nearly 66% of Americans under the age of 60, expect to have eldercare responsibilities in the next 10 years.

Add to that, economic uncertainty, and the many diverse elements in our changing society, and those “Golden Years” look a little tarnished.


If you’re already in your sixties, or nearly, and feeling the financial squeeze of the sandwich generation, there are still a few things you can do to lower your stress level and increase your peace of mind. You might consider working a little longer, trimming your expenses, and urging your kids to explore every option for college financial aid—especially merit grants or scholarships that neither of you will have to repay after they graduate.

If you’re in your forties or fifties, chances are you have more time to plan and make preparations before you find yourself caught in the sandwich generation. Regardless of your age, however, here are a few steps you can take that may help you manage the needs of your aging parents and adult children without getting squeezed by sandwich generation problems:

·         Preserve Your Assets—Don’t be a sandwich generation martyr by using your retirement savings to pay for your children’s college education or your parents’ long-term care. Your kids can take out student loans if necessary, and you should use your parents own assets to finance their care for as long as possible.

·         Plan Ahead—Keep the sandwich generation trend in mind when you’re projecting what kind of income you’ll need in retirement. Be sure to consider the possibility that you'll end up in the sandwich generation--one or more of your kids may need to come back home for awhile, raising your monthly costs or maybe delaying your plan to move to a smaller home. And if you have one or more parents still living, count on joining the sandwich generation as your parents may also need your financial help.

·         Assess the Situation Before Sandwich Generation Problems Arise—As early as possible, consider sandwich generation issues. Talk with your parents about their assets, how they want to live as they age, what kind of health care and lifesaving measures they do or don't want, and who should make legal and medical decisions for them if they are no longer able to handle their own affairs. This may be a difficult and uncomfortable conversation for you and your parents, but answering these questions while there is still time to plan ahead can help you both avoid a lot of sandwich generation problems.

• Get Insurance—Sandwich generation members need to plan for the future. Look into the viability of long-term care insurance for your parents and yourself. Whether it is right for you depends on several factors, including the cost of the coverage, how long you might need it, and what kind of benefits you want. If you or your parents eventually require nursing home care, however, long-term care insurance could help offset those asset-draining costs.
• Put Yourself First—Because you’re both a conscientious parent and a dutiful child, you may be tempted to put your own needs after those of your aging parents and adult children if you find yourself in a sandwich generation scenario. Don’t.

Finally, don't forget that being part of the sandwich generation and caring for others can be hard on your physical and emotional health as well as your financial well-being .Learn how you can take care of yourself while caring for others by attending support groups, and don’t try to do it all alone. Care managers can help relieve your burden by providing a number of services, as well as being a resource for Community-based services and programs that provide respite for caregivers.